It's been a while since I updated my blog....Not long ago(padahal Tuesday je pun..), I've been bombarded with lots of things. All the way from 12th floor until 7th floor of JKR Midvalley office. You should see my face when every fingers point on my unit, to be precise, me on the meeting. It's been like "Hey...I'm the idiot who volunteer to put my butt on fire...attack me, attack me". Anyway, I not going to babble about how busy I am for the past month. Only Allah knows how I strained myself and how I've pushed myself to the limit.
Enough talking about that, lets move on to the real topic...You should not be driving if you're in a bad mood. Hell yes! I've been driving like mad this night while crying...Shame on me.;p Now I feel sore around my eyes. Definitely going to look pathetic tomorrow. Speeding is definitely YES, sudden brakes? Checked, Misuse of signal and viper things when obviously doing wrong things?Checked. How 'skema' this kids...Tch...
Why am I crying? Something trigger my memories when you said something like this:
"Kalau saya sorang je yang usaha memang tak jadi la..."
Hellooo...Are you the only one who's been working hard?? Am I not?? You should see me on working hours and do you know why I've not quit my job for study? Because I want to work for the wedding's money. I'm so shocked that I even heard those words from you. I'm HURT very much at the statement. Moreover, you've added the quote:
"Sebaik-baik wanita adalah yang rendah wang hantarannya or wanita yang rendah hantarannya adalah tinggi darjatnya " I don't remember. I don't want to remember. At that mention of those quote, I've cried...Silently until my eyes hurt. That's why I've changed contacts to glasses at the petrol station. My mom have said to her stingy friends:
"Ala awak bayar berapa ribu je untuk isteri awak yang akan jadi orang gaji awak seumur hidup. Makan pakai and anak dia uruskan, cuba awak upah orang gaji. Lebih dari apa yang awak bagi masa hantaran kan??"
Damn..Why those words keep coming back at me? It makes me cry again. If you have not notice, I've been sobbing all the way from the moment of your talk. My fault when I always bring out the hantaran topic, my fault when I pushes you to marry me, my fault when I don't think about others when I speak or ask question. Do you think about the consequences of your word towards me??
Have you ever stop even for a second to think that I love you more than myself, that I would sacrifice my own feelings and wants to keep you content, not hurt, to cherish you and to make you satisfies and be happy when you're around me? Did you notice, every time we went out I wear your favorite colors, or anythings that you like me to wear? Open your eyes wide, wake up your senses and open your heart more. I know that you always remind me about being reasonable. Now I ask you, be reasonable when you're talking. A TV commercial always said, Think Before You Throw...My Commercial said...Think before you talk. Be it with others or families. If it is me, it's okay. Yes I would cry my heart out loud in a car, at the petrol station, while speeding or while taking a bath. Overtime, I'll fight that sadness and become my cheerful self again to cheer you up. Thank you for letting me into your life, into your heart.
Still calming myself...My eyes hurts...
No comments:
Post a Comment